How to Rid Yourself of Comparisonitis
that reality Vs. Your reality
It's so easy to fall into the trap of comparing your reality with that of another human or many humans for that matter.
This/these person(s) are probably on the other side of the earth coming at you through that little screen in your hand. Making you feel like you're not pretty enough, not free enough, not you enough.
Making you feel like how far you've come is not enough, inconsequential even. Because where they are is where you feel you should be.
Where they are is where you feel you would be if you hadn't wasted all that time being scared, lazy, complacent...learning.
If you had of just tried harder, or worked longer.
If you had of just thought to do that thing before they thought to do that thing.
If you had of just…
Let me stop you right there. Because we both know this could go on all fucking day.
There are a lot of things you could have done differently in your life (duh, that’s kind of the point of choices).
But, you didn't.
Want to know why?
Because where you are at this very moment is exactly where you are meant to be.
Who you are at this moment is exactly who you are meant to be.
And, that person's life you are feeling so unworthy of right now? Is exactly as it's meant to be, as well. Is not as perfect as you think it is. Feels small to them sometimes too.
the secret sauce-Be more you
I find myself getting caught in this trap every now and again.
If I had of started it sooner, my business would be up and running by now.
If I had of pushed myself a little harder, I would be where she is right now.
If I had of focused a little more, I could be living that dream.
Everything I have been through has just made me more me.
And, the more me that I am, the more magic I have to unleash upon all you wonderful people.
The more me I am, the more I am able to show you how powerful it can be.
How powerful it would be for you to use your voice, to unleash all that you are.
To open up that big beautiful brain, heart, and imagination station to the world.
You are so full of amazing things to say and of amazing ways to say it.
In fact, I can guarantee no one can say what you have to say the way you have to say it.
No one can be you.
No one can know what it means to have lived your life.
No one can know what it has taken you to get where you are right now.
No one can be uniquely you.
Isn't that amazing?
If you had any doubts, let me just assure you that it is, in fact, amazing.
So, just do me a favour...
When you look at those picture perfect polaroids of the life you wish you had, remember that you are worth a celebration.
You are worthy of your own admiration.
It's not an easy thing. I understand.
But, try to see you as I see you.
A powerful freaking female, full of creativity (yup, you are), life lessons (probably learned the hard way), and witty banter (from feigning enjoyment in social settings).
now, shout it from the rooftops
You have a uniquely special story to tell and a uniquely...well...unique way to tell it.
It doesn't matter how. Just do.
Connect with it.
I don't care.
Just appreciate your damn story and share it with the world.
There is no way for you to know what someone needs to hear right now. How what you have to give might change someones life? Let alone, your own.
So write that blog. Post that picture. Launch that business. Tell your friend about that book that blew your mind.
I'm serious. That's basically all life is. A giant story for you to tell.
I see you over there doubting me. Doubting yourself.
"Steph, no one gives a flying fuck what I have to say about my life! There is nothing special about what I've done. Certainly not special enough for someone else to care or to tag along. They've probably heard it a thousand times before, anyway."
But, I can 100000000 x million percent guarantee that no one can share it the way you are compelled to share it.
And, I can 100000000 x million percent guarantee that there are people that need to hear it from YOU.
Actually, do you know what?
Leave anyone else out of it, for a second.
I'm going to need you to share it for you.
I'm going to need for you to open yourself up to the idea that you have something to share with the world that is uniquely you and then I'm going to need you to embrace that for a second.
Are you doing it?
Go on, do it!
Pretty cool, huh?
Want to know something else?
Too bad, I'm going to tell you anyway.
You create that life you’re dreaming of
Creating, and connecting through what you create, is something that you are already doing. Every single day.
Hate to break it to you (I don't actually).
But that is just a factual fact :)
That touching card you wrote your dad?
That funny text you sent your bestie?
That doodle you left for your roommate?
Yup, uniquely you creations.
That pitch you sent a prospective client?
That sales page you wrote?
That podcast you recorded?
Uniquely you creations.
Every time you create you are putting a little bit of you and your story out into the world.
There, it has the opportunity to have an impact on your friends, your family, your community...on the world.
While the internet is much to blame for that little screen you've grown accustomed to downplaying your life with, it is also your greatest source and resource for impact.
Next time you are looking at a picture, or article, or video, and get the feeling that you are less than enough. Remember, that this person is simply sharing in the way that is uniquely them.
You could never live their life the way they have lived it or the way they are currently living it. You could never do that thing the way they are doing it.
Does that make you lesser?
Absolutely fucking not!!!
DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR MISSY?!
As I’ve mentioned many of times previously, you are a freaking magical unicorn of wonderment and delight.
You are unique beyond measure and merely need to own that which makes you you (This blog post should involve some sort of drinking game every time I say unique).
The way you have lived your life, the choices you've made, and who you are today is like no one else on the entire face of this earth.
Now, you just have to own that shit.
And, use it for good not evil.
Write the life of your dreams.
Create the life of your dreams.
Own the you of your dreams.
She's in there.
Waiting for you to wake up to that special blend of kickassery that's just hanging out within you.
And, she wants you to stop comparing yourself to other people.
She wants you to be happy for other people.
She wants you to be inspired by the way they are owning their own stories. By the way they are creating their own story for their lives. The only way they know how.
She wants you to be proud of the stories you have to tell. And, the lessons you have to share.
She wants you to moisturize.
You get it.
She wants you to live your best life, as your best self.
And, that best self is not going to be found scrolling or comparing.
It's going to be found through connection (outward + inward), through creation, through self-compassion, and through self-love.
Why don't you take a second to look at your life the way you've been looking at theirs?
Think of all you've been through.
All the bad breakups, bad dates, bad hangovers.
All the laugh until you cry moments. All the smiles.
All the road trips, flights, and backyard adventures.
All the shitty jobs and the amazing (and not so amazing) people you've met working them.
All the____________________ (insert what comes to mind for you).
There's a fuckton right?
All of those moments, memories, and connections make you incredibly qualified to be who you are, FULLY and COMPLETELY.
All those ups and downs make you extremely knowledgable in ALL that you've been through.
They make you an asset, an ally for someone who has yet to go through it.
That person you've been envying. I bet you have something to offer them too. I bet there is something they seek desperately to learn from you.
So, keep that in mind next time you spend your Friday morning jumping from instagram account to instagram account.